You know how politicians sometimes say things they regret and then say "I didn't say that" and then someone like Jon Stewart plays the videos of them saying both. I had that type of experience with Suzuki Roshi once. I think it was early 67 (I'll get a more exact chronology done at some point) he went to the East Coast with Richard Baker to give some talks, meet with groups, and individuals, and to help raise money to pay for Tassajara which we'd already put the down payment on. The first talk he gave after he got back he talked about going to the East Coast and seeing New York City for the first time and he expressed how amazed he was by it, how tall the buildings were and how far they stretched in every direction and so on and he said, "I could not accept it as part of my mind." Or he said something close to that. Not long after that he and i were talking in his office and I asked him some question that led to him saying something about acceptance indicating that we should accept things as they are. I then pointed out that he said that he said he could not accept New York City as part of his mind.

"I didn't say that," he said.

"Oh yes you did," I said. "You said it in the lecture you gave when you first came back."

"No, I didn't say that."

We went back and forth a few more times and finally I realized that he might have said that then, but he didn't say that then now. Mainly I realized that I couldn't hold him to it.

He could have explained that he was joking or making a point or that was a relative can't accept and this is an absolute must accept. Hmm. Come to think of it. Maybe everything he said he didn't say. He said it that then but not this one. But no formula will work. There are statements that are meant to carry forward like promises and vows and dates.Maybe we can deal with all the complexities of what's being communicated best if we minimize the stopping to think about it.

I also don't think it's fair to hold politicians to everything they've said in the past. It's sort of silly.

And if anyone asks, I didn't write that.