Connie Lueck

Connie Lueck was a student of Shunryu Suzuki from the early sixties. The early students mentioned her in conversation and interviews and she's in early photos, but no one ever mentioned anything about her since those days. I just found out (23-08-22) that she had died almost fifty years ago. She had asked to die at Zen Center. Elizabeth Sawyer is one of those on call for such a situation. Elizabeth wrote that Connie Lueck died 45 minutes after arriving at Zen Center from a San Francisco hospital after being brought inside in a stretcher.

Ann Overton on what happened when Connie Lueck came to the City Center to Die

SR0209 - 1962

L to R: Jean Ross, Betty Warren, Connie Lueck (below Suzuki), Della Goertz, Bill Kwong, Grahame Petchey?, Paul Alexander, + Bob Hense in zazen at Soko-ji. Posed for photo because this is the men's side for actual zazen period.

Here are the other photos of her on shunryusuzuki.com with their numbers. They're all 1961-4

Links at file name open up photo at shunryusuzuki.com

SR0165 - Sokoji group photo - 1964

SR0174 - Group photo in front of Sokoji. 1961-2

SR0212 - in which Suzuki is hitting her with the kyosaku - 1962

SR0380 - Lunch at Sokoji with Bishop Yamada - 1961-2

Two more found that weren't in the online database - other shots of the above.

I keep learning little bits about Connie Lueck. Teah Strozer wrote:

"She lived across from me when I lived in 340. She was a lovely lady to me."

I had no idea Connie Lueck lived at 340 or was around. Maybe I knew her. That was long before I got into the history of ZC as heavy as later but I was always interested and I knew all these very early students well - Betty, Della, Jean, Bill Kwong, Phillip, Paul Alexander. Connie went way back with them - 59-61. What little I'd heard of her was in interviews with early people much later. Nothing about her around ZC in the 70s. Anyway, no matter. It's just interesting and neat to find out. I love uncovering little stories from our - dc, 23-08-24

Ann Overton on what happened when Connie Lueck came to the City Center to Die

Lynn Zenki and I were with Connie Lueck when she died at Zen Center. Her doctor had been taking a class in Buddhism at GGF and helped arrange for her to come to ZC.
I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to Lynn Zenki for being with me during Connie’s dying process.

In preparation I had set up a 2nd floor room (which faced the courtyard) with a painting over the small sofa. From her bed, she would be facing the windows from which she’d be able to see the flowering vines outside.

At that time there was still a piano in the dining room. Richard Baker said, in a dharma talk, that they had talked together about her about coming to Zen Center for hospice care. She mentioned that years earlier they hadn’t gotten along very well, but now she felt that a miracle had occurred: they were both practicing Suzuki Roshi’s way.

Connie had serious problems with breathing and the night before she came, Lynn showed a few of us how to connect the tubes from oxygen tank to the patient.

At that time, part of my ZC job was to organize work projects for guest students. The night before Connie arrived, one student, in the middle of the night, became quite disturbed and I sat with her on the hallway staircase to calm her down. In the morning, while Lynn and I were setting up the room for Connie, someone came in to tell me that the disturbed student was now up on the roof. I started to freak, but then the person added that it was okay because Robert Lytle was up there with her. Lynn said to me, “You’re nervous about doing hospice, but what you already do is much more difficult.”

Connie arrived and Lynn connected the oxygen. Reb Anderson came in, welcoming her and asking her if everything was okay. “Is everything okay?”

Connie said, ”I can see flowers out the window, there’s piano music, and a good looking man is looking at me! And you’re asking if everything’s okay?!”

Connie had settled in the bed and was quiet. Lynn and I sat down on the little sofa. “I have to go through her medications. While I do that, why don’t you look at this material from the hospital,” Lynn said. We were sitting quietly, when the sound of Connie’s breathing changed. It was louder and more broken. I had heard about “the death rattle,” but had never actually heard it before. I thought this must be it. Lynn and I both got up and we each held her hands, so that we were on both sides of the bed. After a while, it was clear that she had passed on. (Much later I heard that Lynn had been feeling Connie’s pulse. Her pulse had stopped suddenly, which Lynn said was unusual: usually a dying person’s pulse gradually fades.)

Lynn got up and opened a window, explaining that she always did this when someone died at the hospital to let their spirit free.

Neither of us wanted to leave the room and we started chanting The Heart Sutra loudly. After some time, someone poked their head in the door and Lynn said “Get Reb.” Then Reb came.

When Lynn told the doctor that Connie had died very soon after arriving at ZC, he was shocked. “What?” he said, “Who connected the oxygen?!” “I did it and I know it was done correctly,”Lynn told him.

When people talk about Connie’s passing they always immediately say that she died very soon after she arrived at Zen Center and usually not much else. Occasionally I get the feeling that her passing, because it went so quickly, was not seen as important or significant. This bothers me. I have no medical background, but I feel that her speedy dying process was connected to her desire to die at ZC. Lynn noted that her pulse came to a halt, rather than fading out. Her doctor was surprised that she died so suddenly. This is just my perception, but I think once she got settled at Zen Center, she understood that her wish had been granted and she felt free to go.