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My top priority when I eat is to finish whatever's going to go bad.

We had a couple of women over for dinner last night who live in Tiruvannamalai where Katrinka and I have spent time, living near the Ramana Ashram in 2011. I'd bought a little less than half a kilo of shrimp late at the Sanur morning market - all that was left. Katrinka didn't like the way it smelled and felt but I wouldn't let her feed it to our pregnant again feral cat kucing which means cat. Can't call her cat because that's my wife's name for some people here.

Got the shrimp out from the fridge at one pm today. It didn't smell bad but was a bit mushy which is maybe more due to ocean acidification than decay. I don't know. Cooked it up with leftover kale in raw coconut oil which we're using less of due to its recent loss of favor with the saturated fat police. Toasted the corn tortillas she wanted to throw out by folding them twice and putting them in the toaster.

Noticed something dark flitting by on the floor to under the rolling cart between me and the dining table - one of our little gecko or a cockroach, either of which would be normal. Looked around on the floor didn't see it - if cockroach I catch and release outside. The gecko are welcome.

Also toasted a couple of small pieces of bread left over from a pricey Italian restaurant to-go Styrofoam container Bob gave me yesterday morning before he flew back to Orange County. Put some olive oil on the toast and speckled mustard on the shrimp-kale. Sprinkled some gomashio and tamari.

At the end of the meal realized I'd forgotten a small jar of leftover mahi-mahi bits and herbs I'd scrapped up from the frying pan after dinner. I'd taken it out for lunch and removed the lid but left it on the rolling cart. Ate it out of jar with fork and bit of bread that was left. Just a few small bites. The last one was so strange, a big lump. It fell on the separated from surrounding herb and mahi mahi bits and wiggled on its back. So it was a cockroach that had run under the rolling cart. It's hard for them to right themselves.

Thought about finishing what I was chewing on then decided that was bad form and spit it into the compost container. Reached for the large plastic cup I use just for this, covered the cockroach, carried the plate out the front door and flung its inhabitant to the road to go scurrying off. Noticed the distinctive cockroach odor which is not appealing wafting up from container and plate as I walked to the sink. Rinsed my mouth out, gargled with some red ginger syrup, washed everything doubly well, and savored the moment when Katrinka would return and hear who'd joined me for lunch. She's less tolerant about these critters than I am.

In telling her I joked that now that I'd eaten the shrimp I was feeling sharp stomach pains and diarrhea coming on. About thirty minutes later I could feel my stomach tightening in a non joking manner. After a while I'd lost interest in doing anything but standing near the bathroom. I told her I was glad she was leaving as I suspected an intimate experience was on the way. There were no sharp pains or even great discomfort but my stomach was clearly on the way to rejecting lunch. I had a normal bowel movement, took a quick shower, and put on clean tee shirt and underwear. My mouth started watering.

The toilet is clean but I added a drop of Frangipani essence immediately noticing a kinship between that smell and the cockroach's which I perceived as complex, containing sweetness and pleasant elements overwhelmed by disgusting elements - possibly usable as a perfume ingredient. I sat on the floor undisturbed, undistracted, patient, normal incidental thoughts did not come. The toilet seat cover took my attention. I was just a body, a creature, morphing.

Could feel my throat widening, mouth watering, dripping. Then with great force dark torrents of liquefied lunch shot into the toilet bowl in four streams with pauses in between. There was a surprising length and sustained power to each emission. After each one I felt some relief and said thank you to this wonderful body. There was not the usual vomit odor heavy with the unpleasant smell of digestive fluid as if my stomach had not intended to go that far. Papaya which is said to be good for digestion tastes a touch of that vomit savor. Flushed between each upheaval and after the last. Rinsed my mouth. Drank a couple of cups of water. Got under the covers. Felt good. Deep sleep for two hours. Woke when Katrinka returned. More water. She brought white miso broth. Perfect. Played a game of Spider two. Went over a piece son Kelly had written on Inky Caps. Wondered how much shrimp I'd be eating in the future. Wrote this.